


Eliza The Evil Genius- Wait What (AKA That one time Eliza locked Alex and Thomas in a room together for days on end)

by GunsAndShipsAndMoreShips



Series: The Misadventures Of A.Ham [6]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is kind of an idiot, Arguing, Eliza is an evil genius :>, Epic Fail, Escape, F/M, Illistrations, Pictures, Storms, Thomas is kind of an idiot, Will - Freeform, Writing, Yelling, alex and thomas want eachother dead, alex is afraid of storms, alex is afraid of storms what a shocker, arguing a whole lot, eacaping, fail, failure - Freeform, getting locked in a closet, getting locked in a room together, getting locked in rooms, locked in a closet, wills lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-04 07:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10986447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GunsAndShipsAndMoreShips/pseuds/GunsAndShipsAndMoreShips
Summary: Let the games begin





	1. 6 Simple Steps

Eliza’s schedule had become take care of Phillip, eat, sleep, and listen to Alex ramble on about how much Jefferson sucked. She wasn’t one to take drastic measures, but enough was enough.

Her plan of action: lock Alex and Jefferson in a closet together until they could come to terms with each other's existences.

Step One: Follow Alexander to work one day.  
Step Two: Ask Jefferson to get her something out of a closet.  
Step Three: Ask Alexander to do the same thing.  
Step Four: Slam the door and lock it while they’re both still in there.  
Step Five: Hope they don’t starve to death  
Step Six: pEAcE


	2. It Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This will be fun

STEP ONE:

Eliza woke up when Alex was getting ready to leave.  
“Alexander?”  
“Yes?”  
“Can I come to work with you today?”  
“Um, why?”  
“I want to make sure you don’t starve yourself to death, you haven’t really been eating or sleeping at all for the past few months,” well it wasn’t the best excuse, but it would work.  
Alexander looked at her skeptically for a few moments, but then sighed in agreement and let her come with him.

STEP TWO/THREE:

Eliza was beginning to wonder what she could ask Jefferson to get out of the closet. Well, she could ask him to get paper, and just hope he doesn’t ask why. Jefferson and Alex were getting ready for the cabinet meeting, so she figured that was her only option.  
“Alexander! Mr. Jefferson!” she yelled before they went inside.  
“Yes Mrs. Hamilton?” Thomas asked.  
“I need you to do me a favor.”  
“What is it?”  
“I need paper.”  
“What fo-” Jefferson asked before he was shushed by Alex.  
“We’ve gotta get inside, just get it for Eliza, okay?” Alex responded.  
“Fine.”  
“Bet you I can get to the supply closet faster!” Thomas exclaimed.  
“OOh. You’re on.”  
They took off running through the halls, and Eliza wondered how they hadn’t killed each other by now. She went after them.

STEP FOUR:

Alex and Thomas were shoving each other out of the way, trying to get the paper off the shelf faster. Now was her chance. She snuck up behind the door, slammed it shut, and locked it.

“What the-” Alex mumbled.  
“Hamilton, you did this.”  
“What?! How!”  
“Someone locked us in here, it has to be your fault.”  
“HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE-” he was cut off by Eliza.  
“I’m sick and tired of you two bickering! Now you two are going to be stuck in there until you can get along!”  
“ELIZA?? WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!” Alexander yelled, but Eliza had already left.

 


	3. MADISON YOU'RE DEAD TO ME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madison is dead to Alex

 

“Congrats Hamilton, you have married a psychopath,” Thomas said in his usual sarcastic drawl.

“Well she’s a lot nicer than your wife!” Alexander said.

“You’ve never even met my wife!”

“Shut up.”

He wiggled the doorknob in an attempt to get out, but the door wouldn’t budge.

“We’re going to die in here Jefferson!”

“No we’re not! Calm down!”  
“I AM CALM!” Alex took a deep breath. “I’m going to write something.”

“Can you do anything other than write?”

“I can fight.”

“Prove it!”

“YOU. ARE. ON.”

Thomas slapped Alex in the face, and it was all downhill from there. 20 minutes later they were both in pretty rough shape, but Alex had definitely won.

 

 

“Yeah, I think I’m pretty good at fighting.”

Jefferson tilted his head up and didn’t respond.

“Silent treatment eh? I guess I won. I’m gonna go write now.” 

Jefferson peeked over his shoulder to see what he was writing.

“Are you writing… your will?”

“I don’t think I’m capable of compromising with you, so I’m writing my will ahead of time.” Alex mumbled.

“Soo optomistic.”

Just then, they heard footsteps outside the door.

“HEY! HEY! WE’RE TRAPPED IN HERE! SOMEONE HELP!” Alex screamed.

They could both hear muffled talking.

“Wait… That’s Madison!” Alex said. “MADISION! WE’RE IN HERE! JAMES!! JAMES??”

“Dear god, you’re going to burst my eardrums.”

“Be quiet, I’m trying to get his attention!”

“Wait…Hamilton? Is that you in there?” James said.

“YES! I’M TRAPPED IN HERE WITH JEFFERSON! HELP ME!”

“Okay, hold on a second, let me get a key…”

“Not so fast.” Eliza said from across the room.

“What?”

“I locked those two in there until they could get along. Please don’t interrupt my plan.”

“You- wha- Fine, Mrs. Schuyler.”

“JAMES! YOU TRAITOR! HOW DARE YOU!”

“Jeez, sorry Ale-”

“MADISON YOU’RE DEAD TO ME!”

“Just gonna walk away now…”


	4. A Wild Feels Appeared!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jefferson accidentally brings up some bad memories for Alex.

“Ugh. We’re going to be stuck here until we die…” Jefferson groaned as he was borderline in tears.

“We are… “ Alex said as he slumped up against the wall next to Jefferson.

“Any last words?”

“I hate you with a burning passion.”

“Same.”

“Hey- where’s my will… HEY! You’re stepping on it!”

Jefferson looked down at his foot, which was over Alex’s will. He picked it up and put it right in front of his hands.

“There you go.”

“Wow, you’re actually gonna give it to me? Nice-” he said, but Jefferson stood up and jerked the paper out of his reach. He jumped up and down in a desperate attempt to reach it, but Jefferson just laughed as he watched.

“Oh my god, you suck.”

“Yeah sure,” Jefferson responded as he waved it up and down.

Alex had had enough of this, so he tackled Jefferson and yanked it out of his hands.

“Jesus christ, you’re strong for such a small person,” Jefferson moaned as he got up.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” he said. “I fought in a war you know.”

“I wish I could have been in the war. I could have-” he was interrupted by Alexander.

“No you don’t.”

“What?”

“You don’t wish you were in the war. It was terrifying… So much death and destruction…” he continued on and on for quite a while, and it was only when he was done with his speech he realized the quill he was holding snapped in half.

“Uh. Point taken,” Jefferson said, still kind of confused what exactly was happening.

“Dangit, that was my only quill.”

“Oh!” Jefferson exclaimed as he pulled a quill out of his pocket. “Take it.”

Alexander looked at him suspiciously. “You’re serious this time.”

“Dude, just take it.”

He took the quill out of his hands. “Uhh… Thanks.” He continued to write his will after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That height difference tho


	5. Alex The World's Worst Escape Artist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jefferson and Alex suck at being escape artists

“I am so bored,” Jefferson said.  
“Me too.”  
“But at least you get to do something!”  
“Writing wills isn’t exactly the most thrilling thing one can do.”  
“Let’s try to bust out of this place.”  
“What?”  
“There’s a window up there, smash it and get out!”  
“That’s higher up than either of us can reach though,” Alex responded.  
“Well if we stand on each other's shoulders…”  
“One of us is going to die that way, and it’s not gonna be me.”  
“Let’s just try!”  
“Fine, but I blame you if you kill me.”  
“Alright.”  
Jefferson grabbed Alex, lifted him up, and put him right next to the window. “Okay! Open it up!”  
Alex tried to get the window open, but it was locked. “It’s locked.” He looked around and found a note. “Oh, there’s a note.”

“Alexander, I know you’re smart enough to get up here somehow. So I locked it for you. And don’t break the window because you could get arrested for that. -Yours Truly, Eliza. “

Right before he finished, Jefferson’s legs gave out on him and they both came tumbling to the ground.

“Ugh… Alex! Are you okay?” he said as he looked at Alexander, who looked like he was unconscious. Alex gave him a tired thumbs up and then his arm flopped back down.   
“My head hurts.”  
“No duh Alex, you just fell like 8 feet onto your head!” he said as he walked towards him.  
“Since when did you call me Alex?”  
“Uhh…” Jefferson said. “Since now. Anyway, just rest for a bit.”  
“Okay…” Alex responded as he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No illustrations this time sorry :,)


	6. Whoops A Storm And Alex Is Afraid What A Shocker This Has Never Been Done Before In The History Of Hamilton Fanfiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoops a storm

Thomas woke up to a huge crash.  
“OH MY GOD! WHAT WAS THAT?!” He yelled.  
“Thunder.” Alex responded, looking out the window.  
“Oh. Well that’s not too bad.”  
Alexander sighed. “The only problem is that this is making my headache a hundred times worse.”  
“Sorry about that, you’re really heavy.”  
“Gee thanks.”  
“I didn’t mean that like-” Jefferson said. “Whatever, I’m going back to sleep.”  
However, he didn’t get any sleep between how Alex shrieked every time there was thunder or lightning and the fact that it was, after all, storming outside. A few hours later, his ears couldn’t take Alex screaming any more so he decided to confront him about it.  
“Hamilton, just be quiet plea- Are you… Are you crying?” he said, as he noticed that Alex’s eyes were wet.  
“What! No! I wasn’t cr-” he said before being interrupted by lightning and curling back up in a corner.  
“You’re a grown man Hamilton. You don’t need to be crying over a storm.”  
“Ever heard of the St. Croix Hurricane?”  
“Yeah, I heard about that right after it happened.”  
“Well I was in it,” he growled before going silent again.  
Oh. That explains it. This guy was in one of the worst hurricanes Thomas had ever heard of, no wonder he was scared of storms!  
“I’m sorry- I-I didn’t realise…” he said.  
“Just… Be quiet.”  
Jefferson sat next to him. “Do you want to talk about it?”  
Alex shook his head.  
“Okay. Just take deep breaths I guess- I think that’s what you’re supposed to do. I don’t really know.”  
A little bit later, he had finally calmed down a bit and he wasn’t crying anymore, but the door suddenly flung open to reveal a soaking wet, freezing cold Eliza.  
“Alexander oh my god, I’m so sorry- I locked you in here with Jefferson of ALL people and it was during a storm I couldn’t think of anyone worse to put you in a room with while you were having a panic attack and- oh,” she said as she looked at Jefferson comforting Alex. She helped him off the floor and gave him a kiss.  
“Um, thank you Mr. Jefferson… For not making matters worse. I guess my plan actually worked.”  
“You’re welcome Mrs. Hamilton,” he said.  
“Okay Alex, let’s go home.” She said.  
“Bye Thomas,” Alexander said.  
That was the first time Alex had ever called him by his first name, so needless to say he guessed they had made some progress. “Goodbye Alex.”

 

The End.


End file.
